No. 2 Rule of Missions: Perseverance

Abbas is a 62 year old Iranian man who desperately wants to learn English....fast! Everyday, he interrupts my lesson to explain to me (again) that "me no understand" English, "i vant, i need talk talk in English" and, "me, Farsi; you, English; no understand." And everyday, my heart breaks for this man who needs a friend, especially because i cannot fill that gap in his life. i can see the frustration and the sadness on his face. i'm no teacher, but i have learned how to read people's frustrations and see what they sometimes fail to understand. Abbas is a slow learner, but he doesn't think so. He wants to speak perfect English tomorrow. i just want to get it through his head that he's got to go slow or else he won't retain it.

Tonight, as i thought back over my day, i realized that i am the same way with God. i get so flustered when i feel the same promptings from the Holy Spirit about the same old sins, over and over and over again. i wonder if God is like me when i'm trying to teach Abbas...wanting so bad for me to understand what He's trying to teach me. Abbas' problem: he's not teachable. My problem: i'm not teachable. Maybe that's why i feel so much compassion for him and try so hard to help him learn--because, in a sense, i identify with him.

Abbas needs Jesus. God is using English class to bring Abbas to Himself. i need Jesus. God is using things in my life to bring me to Himself--things that are difficult, foreign, and pain-staking. He is  teach me slowly and growing my roots deep. It is not the funnest thing i've ever done, but it the most hopeful, the most eternally rewarding.

Learning to speak a new language is not a weekend project. It's a marathon and you've got to be committed to running it for the long haul. English...obedience...love...compassion... All these are languages, tools used to communicate something of importance. O, how it is my prayer that Abbas learns English, but more so that he learns to understand the language that the Holy Spirit uses...through Jesus' obedience on the cross...through Jesus' love on the cross...through Jesus' compassion on the cross. It is my prayer that i will be made pliable in the Potter's hands, that i would be given a teachable spirit, and that i would "count it all joy" to face trials, all so that Jesus is seen through me.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:2-8

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." Hebrews 12:1-3

Oh, middle of the night thoughts...

I wonder if God granted us the stars...smiles...laughter...puppy dog eyes...favorites...sunsets...newness...flavor...pleasantness...All to give us a taste of almost-perfect? To make us hunger for complete perfection & delight. Isn't it interesting how each of us has different things that thrill us...some of those things being more thrilling than others. Adventure...surprises...guessing...chances...wonder...amusement...why do these things cause enjoyment in our heart of hearts? Could it be that they lead our souls to taste & therefore long for more...more, not of the same, but of something better?

Why do we love going back to the same thrills over and over again...we somewhat know what is coming, but there is still excitement in the action of it...maybe to point us to the inexaustability of God's nature? Or maybe to point us to His never-ending love, forgiveness...

Maybe He gives us blessings on this side of eternity in order to point us to the riches found on the other side...namely Himself. Like...all the comfort of a best friend, or a blanket & a cup of tea & a good book on a cold, rainy day, or a good run...none as wholly fulfilling as Him, but pointing us to Him and causing an ever-deeper longing for more...for Him.

Oh thank You, Lord, for the freedom to enjoy Your blessings in this life...they point me to You! May I not get wrapped up in creation and thereby forget the great Creator!

Streams in the Desert

Muslims do not believe that Jesus died. Therefore, He is not considered Savior.

Hindus have 300 million + gods, all of which are believed to be manifestations of one supreme being.

Buddhists believe that any and all desire is carnal and evil, even the desire to love God.
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Working in Clarkston has made me question whether what i believe is really all that different from what the locals believe. Do i believe that Jesus really died, rose and saved me? Do i place Him above every other thing, considering Him the One True God? Do i believe that the desires that i have are all fulfilled in Jesus?

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" Luke 9:23-25

No excitement in the truths of the gospel...not praying in faith that God hears me or will answer...or even cares...

This is the dryness i have been feeling lately. Faith is all i've had to cling to in times like this. But Praise the Lord (someone hit a button...haha) because today, He brought a ray of light back to my life. i have been very humbled today. Whether it be dealing with clashing personalities, coming up with plan B all day long, realizing how selfish i am, or being able to encourage someone out of my past struggles, God has brought me low today...only to lift me up. Finding all joy in Him and His grace has been my help, my light, my song today. He has led me to Him in the most surprising ways.

i wonder what God thinks when we pray to Him and get this mental idea of how He's going to answer it. i can just see Him say, "How boring! Did she forget that the reason I answer their prayers in creative ways is because I'm the most creative being in existence?" i also imagine this sort of "DUH" look on  His face...that is if He actually has one.

He does hear us when we cry to Him. He does care about us. He does answer us. He does love us.

Have faith, my friend. Our God is faithful!

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who shows steadfast love to those who love Him and keep His commandments, to a thousand generations." Deuteronomy 7:9

God's grace is sufficient

At a Backyard Bible Club Thursday night, i saw a group of Nepali adults sitting off to the side, so i went to speak with them. Some of our Nepali church members were with us and our Nepali pastor’s wife, Alice, spoke to Nar, the English speaking guy i spoke with. She asked Nar if he had any Christians in his household. He said no and proceeded with the following story:

“Growing up, we wanted to go to church, but our grandmother (a very devout Hindu) told us that we could go to church after we died. So when we moved to America two months ago...we sent her to Texas and we came here.”

Bahahaha! i laughed my head off when Alice told me what Nar said. Alice continued, asking Nar if he knew why they ended up meeting. Again, he replied no. “So that you could meet God,” Alice replied. Now, Nar is coming to church on Sunday and i am praying for his soul and his family. May God draw them near and open their eyes to Him.

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Yesterday was a day off, filled with rest and grace from God. i took two...count them TWO...naps yesterday. Naps are such rare occurrences, and therefore i’m so thankful for them, especially since they were in a hammock in the woods with nothing but green above me to look at. Went for a trail run/walk and Geocached for the first time in forever. Then grilled out with all the missionaries. All in all, i spent a beautiful day outside.

This summer, the missionaries are challenged to pick a few areas to grow in spiritually. One place i desire to grow is in my understanding of the Word. i want to know it like the back of my hand (hello life-time goal!). i want to learn to fight with Scripture. i want my soul to be governed by it. After a good talk with Bill about the Word and avoiding legalism, we came up with some action plans toward growing. This is a new way to be stretched this summer, but nothing worth having is easy. God’s grace is enough to pull me thru, and it’s all for His glory.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Crosses are Heavy

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Luke 9:23-24

i am amazed at how God answers prayer. Just two hours ago, i sat in a room full of high schoolers who were remiscing about who they won't forget & what they will take back to tiny Arab, Alabama. As i listened, i remembered my first time to Clarkston. Atop Stone Mountain, my leader Zach told the story of Moses on the mountain with God. When Moses came back down, his face shown with the glory of God, and the people were afraid. Zach asked, "When you come down off this mountain, will people be able to tell that you encountered God?"

15 months later, i can say "Yes!" For prayer tonight, Bill asked us to think of one person God has used us (as individuals) to touch this week. When the silence in the prayer came, we were to speak the name of that person. i spoke four and thought of a couple more as time went on. i say that to brag on the Lord, not myself.

The story of the loaves & fish was shared last night. Jesus told the disciples "You feed them!" i can just imagine the sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Doubting Thomas & i probably feel about the same way..."Us? But we're just 12 people. How can we be used to meet these extensive needs." But the disciples brought to Jesus what they had (which wasn't even actually theirs' but a boy's who was there), but look what God did with the little that given to Him..."and taking the loaves and fish, He looked up to heaven and said a blessing...the disciples gave [the loaves] to the crowds. And they all ate & were satisfied..." (Matthew 14:19-21). No matter how huge the need is in Clarkston and the world or how inadequate i feel (and am), God is faithful when we are obedient.

Video blog

Stretching is not just for your body

Team #2 is here, a high school group from good 'ole Alabama. Not only is God working thru them, but He is working in them. Both prayer walking teams i've had have been great, with students who are being pulled out of their shells and laboring on behalf of the lost people in Clarkston and abroad. Last night, i sat with some Sudanese women and watched as 40+ kids sat still for more 3 seconds, captivated by the story of creation.

This team has been open and near fearless in meeting new people, trying new foods and all around being super flexible. Flexibility is necessary to mission work, especially with internationals.

God has been stretching me, too. Flexibilty is something i learn every trip to Clarkston. I'm learning to lay myself down in order to fulfill my committment to my God and my team. I'm learning how to discern the difference between giving 110% and not resting enough, both spiritually & physically. I struggle to find alone time to be still & quiet. My mind is racing with "What's next?" and "Am i prepared?" I long for stillness that lasts, but sadly that's hard to come by.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in all the earth." Psalm 46:10